A Testimony about Repentance by Ah Kie Lim

As I was thinking of the topic of repentance I am reminded of Peter’s denial of the Lord and his repentance. In this narrative in Luke 22:54-62 Peter followed Jesus at a distance to see what would become of Jesus as He was arrested and sent to trial. Peter loved the Lord but his fear for his life and safety kept him at a distance. He thought he would be safe staying at a distance and no one would recognize him. Peter did not want to leave Jesus alone, yet he was afraid. Soon after Peter sat down around the fireplace in the courtyard a servant girl identified him as one of the disciples. Peter, fearing for his life, denied knowing Jesus. A little later another man did the same and pointed out it was indeed Peter who had been with Jesus and he was one of them. Peter defended himself and denied that he ever knew Jesus and would not associate himself with Jesus.

While Peter was still looking at Jesus from afar a man identified him as one of the disciples because he is a Galilean. This time Peter knew that he was being identified as one of Jesus’ disciples. He could not hide himself any longer so he denied vehemently that he knew Jesus. Just then the rooster crowed and Jesus turned to look at Peter. Their eyes met and Peter remembered Jesus said that before the rooster crowed he would deny Jesus (Luke 22:34). The meeting of their eyes brought a conviction in Peter’s heart. How could he have done such a thing to the one that he loved and adored? A broken Peter went away in agony over what he had done and repented before the Lord.

Peter’s denial of Jesus reminded me of the day when I told the Lord I had enough and was ready to give up my faith if He did not intervene in my situation with my family. The year was 1980 and I had been “enduring” and “suffering” for Jesus for two years – so I thought. I cannot remember the month but I remember it was a Sunday. I went to church and my parents came into the church and publicly shamed me as they beat me in front of everyone. I was not prepared for this, somewhat like Peter when was not prepared emotionally for the trial and crucifixion of Jesus. Jesus told him of his coming death but Peter did not want to hear about it. Scriptures talk about persecution of those who follow Christ but I wasn’t listening (Luke 21:12, John 15:20, Romans 12:14).

After the incident in the church I decided the following day to fast and seek some answers from God; if I did not hear from Him I was going to walk away from my faith and return to Buddhism, which would please my parents. While I was praying and crying out to God I saw in a vision Jesus dying on the cross and heard Him say that His grace is sufficient for me and His power is made perfect for me in my weakness. At that very moment that I heard the Lord speak to me I felt that Jesus said He died on the cross for me. He did it all for me. Could I not walk this road with Him? I felt like Peter when Jesus looked at him. Jesus was looking down at me from the cross with such grace and love. Like Peter who wept bitterly because he had denied Jesus, I wept bitterly because I was thinking of turning away from God unless He did something. But instead of feeling sorry for myself for what I am going through the Holy Spirit granted me the strength to persevere in my faith in Him. Like Peter I needed to come to a point of weakness and recognize my need for Him and not trusting my own strength. Peter met the Lord for the second time as he denied Jesus. That was the turning point of Peter’s weakness and there he trusted God. I felt that I met the Lord for the second time in the renewal of my faith and trust in Him when He spoke to me.

Ah Kie Lim

South Asia Member Care Coordinator; GLT member

YWAM

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