21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.£
23“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents£ was brought to him. 25Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26“The servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
28“But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii.£ He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
29“His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’
30“But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”

Mark 11

5And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.£”

Luke 23

32Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with him to be executed. 33When they came to the place called the Skull, there they crucified him, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. 34Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”£ And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

From these scriptures, we can conclude that Jesus taught and practiced a life of radical forgiveness and never carried offense.

On the other hand, failure to forgive and carrying offense are at the heart of some of the most tragic stories in the scriptures:

• The murder of Abel
  
• Joseph being sold into slavery
  
• King David’s family disasters– Amnon and Tamar, Absalom and his rebellion and death
  
  

Forgiveness can turn our life around. But failure to forgive leads to offense, then living with blame.

Are you paying the price of not forgiving? Here are some symptoms:

1. I often have imaginary conversations with another person in which I “put them in their place”.
   
2. I do everything I can to avoid that person.
   
3. I compare myself to them and dismiss them.
   
4. I look for information I can use to gossip about them.
   
5. I am holding a grudge.
   
6. I sometimes erupt into anger.
   
7. I pity myself.
   
8. I don’t want to address the issue.
   
9. I try to think of ways to get even.
   
10. I am becoming more protective and defensive of myself.
    
    

This state of mind and spirit is deeply destructive and will rob you of life. If you remain in this state, you really are that person’s victim.

You have become a victim when you begin to think or react in any of the following ways:

1. You can’t do anything about your situation; it is in the hands of others.
   
2. You resent others because they are making your life hard
   
3. You are often defeated by circumstances
   
4. You believe God has favorites
   
5. You doubt God’s love for you
   
6. You find comfort from being a victim
   
7. You have lost hope that you or your life can change
   
   

If you recognize yourself in any of the descriptions above, then you probably need to forgive someone or maybe several people or even a group of people.
Forgiveness is the only way of getting free from this prison. It may seem very hard, but it is not as hard as the consequences of not forgiving.
Forgiveness is hard on our “self” because it offends our sense of justice. We know wrong has been done and we think someone must pay for it. But when we forgive, we decide to pay the debt to justice and it costs us a lot! We join Jesus (in small measure) on the cross:

Gal. 2: 20

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

It is also hard because, in spite of what the scriptures say about not judging, we try to play God. We are sure we know the heart of the other person and we are sure it is evil—or at least wrong.
This attitude is driven by the same self-righteousness that Jesus rebuked in the Pharisee:

Luke 18:

10Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11The Pharisee stood up and prayed about£ himself: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’

13“But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’

14“I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

If we want to be free from the consequences of judging and unforgiveness, we must agree with God that:

1. We don’t even know our own hearts, but we know we are sinful and in need of mercy
   
2. We certainly can’t know others’ hearts
   
3. Jesus, who forgave those who crucified him, can give us the grace to forgive others because He lives in us. (We do not need to wait until they ask for our forgiveness; Jesus didn’t!)
   

Do you really want to be Christ-like? Then remember Colossians 3:13 and forgive as the Lord forgave you.
The Holy Spirit enables us in our weakness.

HERE ARE SOME STEPS TO FREEDOM:

• Ask God to bring to your mind the people against whom you are holding bad feelings. List those names. (Don’t let yourself be driven to morbid introspection.) Check to see if you are holding any bitterness toward God or yourself. (that person?)
  
• Tell God you are willing to live with the ongoing consequences of the offender’s actions—even if they continue to sin against you.
  
• Speak out your forgiveness of others in prayer before God.
  
• As Him to forgive you for the sin of unforgiveness.
  
• In faith and in your authority in Christ, take back the ground you have given to Satan through unforgiveness. Claim the total freedom that is rightly yours in Christ by rebuking the spirit of unforgiveness and commanding him to leave you!
  
• If future actions by that person trigger painful memories, take it to the cross right away.
  
  

Because of Jesus, we can live a life of immediate forgiveness towards all who sin against us. That is the life of freedom. And remember:

14…if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

So let us walk in forgiveness as forgiven saints!

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